...I'm not as good as I once was....

... nor am I as good as I thought I was going to be. I had this big plan to keep track of EVERYTHING while I was over here and blog about it - but really it has just become life. You know like when you are in the states and driving down the interstate you see someone picking their nose or something like that - well its the same here.... only they do things like stack 6 people to 1 LITTLE motorcycle. (which in itself is dangerous but amusing)

I have seen a motorcycle pulling a trailer that contained a cow... I've seen someone riding on a motorcycle with an IV (yes like the needle kind from the hospital) in their arm just driving down the street.

With as many amusing things I have seen I have seen equally the sad - I grew up with no money, but I guess even then I never understood the TRUE meaning of poverty and its sad.

With as much beauty as there is here there is also dirty and ugly but in its own way its a beautiful reminder.

I guess in my mindseye I saw things a bit differently, not that I am upset that I came or anything like that - I wouldnt trade this time for the world! I am doing my best not to take it for granted. I know not many people have this chance and I am so thankful.

I guess we all come to a point in our lives where we realize the childhood dreams that we had were just that, from the mind of a child.
And I guess you can look at life in a couple different ways - its a small world or its a massive world. And yet no matter how you look at it and no matter where you go things and people are the same. We all breathe and eat, we all need to be loved and cared for. Thats really what it comes down to. You can travel the world and see EVERYTHING there is to see but what difference does it make if you dont have something in your heart that makes it worthwhile. It doesnt mean that you have to have the love of another person, maybe all you need is the love of yourself and that is what drives you - but for most of us we need that someone there.


I've learned a few things about myself since I got here (Its only been a month but I am a fast learner he he)
I've learned that I see beauty everywhere... its kinda funny. I can look at someone who I know is not in any way beautiful and yet I can see something in their eyes - or maybe a smile that makes me see something deeper than the physical. I dont know if thats weird but its the truth.
Driving by the temples here everyday they still amaze me and I cant get enough - they are beautiful to me...
I can just sit for hours and watch people go by, or I can look through all kinds of trinkets at shops, or I can go for long walks - no matter what I see something... deeper. I dont know how to explain, maybe I am completely lame in this matter and I am looking too hard for things that arent actually there. But its very rare for me to go somewhere or do something without finding something especially beautiful - it may be another person or it may be a run down building, but there is always something that catches my eye.

Anyway, enough about that.

I have been happier lately - maybe its the paradigm shift that I have been going through (very few will understand that statment ha ha).
I know what I want in life - which is amazing! I'm still completely indecisive but I have direction that wasnt there before.
I hurt a bit at times over the choices that I have made in the past and the people I hurt - but apologies have been made and now its time to move on and LIVE.

Life and time are both so precious - I dont want to waste any of it. .... which probably means I should go.

Hope you all are very blessed.

Always,
Megan