...I'm not as good as I once was....

... nor am I as good as I thought I was going to be. I had this big plan to keep track of EVERYTHING while I was over here and blog about it - but really it has just become life. You know like when you are in the states and driving down the interstate you see someone picking their nose or something like that - well its the same here.... only they do things like stack 6 people to 1 LITTLE motorcycle. (which in itself is dangerous but amusing)

I have seen a motorcycle pulling a trailer that contained a cow... I've seen someone riding on a motorcycle with an IV (yes like the needle kind from the hospital) in their arm just driving down the street.

With as many amusing things I have seen I have seen equally the sad - I grew up with no money, but I guess even then I never understood the TRUE meaning of poverty and its sad.

With as much beauty as there is here there is also dirty and ugly but in its own way its a beautiful reminder.

I guess in my mindseye I saw things a bit differently, not that I am upset that I came or anything like that - I wouldnt trade this time for the world! I am doing my best not to take it for granted. I know not many people have this chance and I am so thankful.

I guess we all come to a point in our lives where we realize the childhood dreams that we had were just that, from the mind of a child.
And I guess you can look at life in a couple different ways - its a small world or its a massive world. And yet no matter how you look at it and no matter where you go things and people are the same. We all breathe and eat, we all need to be loved and cared for. Thats really what it comes down to. You can travel the world and see EVERYTHING there is to see but what difference does it make if you dont have something in your heart that makes it worthwhile. It doesnt mean that you have to have the love of another person, maybe all you need is the love of yourself and that is what drives you - but for most of us we need that someone there.


I've learned a few things about myself since I got here (Its only been a month but I am a fast learner he he)
I've learned that I see beauty everywhere... its kinda funny. I can look at someone who I know is not in any way beautiful and yet I can see something in their eyes - or maybe a smile that makes me see something deeper than the physical. I dont know if thats weird but its the truth.
Driving by the temples here everyday they still amaze me and I cant get enough - they are beautiful to me...
I can just sit for hours and watch people go by, or I can look through all kinds of trinkets at shops, or I can go for long walks - no matter what I see something... deeper. I dont know how to explain, maybe I am completely lame in this matter and I am looking too hard for things that arent actually there. But its very rare for me to go somewhere or do something without finding something especially beautiful - it may be another person or it may be a run down building, but there is always something that catches my eye.

Anyway, enough about that.

I have been happier lately - maybe its the paradigm shift that I have been going through (very few will understand that statment ha ha).
I know what I want in life - which is amazing! I'm still completely indecisive but I have direction that wasnt there before.
I hurt a bit at times over the choices that I have made in the past and the people I hurt - but apologies have been made and now its time to move on and LIVE.

Life and time are both so precious - I dont want to waste any of it. .... which probably means I should go.

Hope you all are very blessed.

Always,
Megan

Just a video update...

Just something to think about....

Today I was sitting at a little cafe called JoMa here in Vientiane, I go there often to read and sort out my thoughts. Every day that I am there a woman is also there sitting on the sidewalk with 2 babies. One child is about 2 and the other cant be more than 6 months old. The baby never has any clothes or a diaper and the older is always so dirty. The woman herself is dirty and unkempt, everyday she just sits there and waits for people to give her money... I have seen homeless people before, of course but its different to see a family on the street begging for money. Today a group of boys age ranging from 4-9 ( I am assuming) walked up and down the city square asking everyone they met for money... I gave them some and the look on their faces was actually thankful, I didnt give them much- I didnt have much on me but it made me think about how spoiled we are in the US. Here the average worker makes somewhere around $4.50 per day, and they work ALOT harder than anyone I have ever met. EVERYONE works 6 days a week and they are about 10 hour days, sometimes without a lunch but they dont complain because its the way of life. You work to live.
In the US if you have to stay late at work (where most of the time you dont do much anyway) you complain. If you dont get your raise on time its a travisty ...
It just amazes me how simple these people can live and still be happy. Life here is worth more than money, course everyone wants it... but you can tell that money isnt what drives everyone. Its pretty interesting.
Me personally, I have never really been materialistic, honestly. Course I like to have nice things, but who doesnt? I have never really had alot, but I guess I was never really thankful for what I DID have...
Anyway thats just something I thought about.

Things here have been going... :) somewhere I am sure!
I have been trying to keep myself busy but for the most part the boys are in school and I get bored easily (My A.D.D. gets the best of me at times)
I think I have read like 20 books since I got here which is fun I suppose lol.
I did pose for my uncles partners photoshoot. He owns a salon and was going to have an spread in a magazine over here. So I got my hair and makeup done and got to take a few photos, it was fun!

I went to a cultural food thing the other day which was cool too... I was given something amazing to eat.. a slug ha ha. It tasted kinda like a peanut with the texture of those fried pork skins. Interesting stuff. Today I ate something too... I was scared to ask so it remains a mystery. WOO HOO!

The boys have been really good, for the most part they do their thing and I just spend a few hours with them a day checking homework, making sure they are eating etc... all kinds of "motherly duties" without actually having to be a mom (thank the lord ha ha!)

The time difference about kills me, when I am awake EVERYONE is sleeping, like right now its about 3:15AM for you guys and it is 4:15PM for me. SO weird. But my brother pointed out that I am in the future compared to you guys... so if the world comes to an end I will be the first to know... right??? he he.

Anyway my next blog is going to be a video thing... I think, or at least I am going to try it should be fun...

I am going to run and see if I can do something with my hair (would you believe I havent touched it for about 2 months.. WAY too long)

Adios ya'll! Email me.

Hello again.

So I have been here about 10 days now, sometimes it seems like time has really been flying, other times the days just drag on and on.

Yesterday I learned how to make a Thai snack, very good! lol I dont know what all was in it (no pigs blood he he) mostly just all kinds of veggies and some peanut. (Thai food has alot of peanut so if you have allergies its not a good place to vacation or visit)

Today is Timmy's birthday, he is now 4 years old. We went to his school to take him a cake and some cookies for his class and he spent the whole time crying, I dont think he got enough sleep last night.

The boys are both great! Both of them are very very smart!
Anakin is 9 (he will tell you he is 10, but his birthday isnt until August) he is probably one of the smartest children I have ever met, and that is the truth. He picks up on things quickly and does great with problem solving. His grades are great! He is a little shy in some areas but clever and funny. We decided to call our grandpa "the toothless vampire", long story but very funny.

Timmy, like I said, just turned 4 days. The boy is SO stubborn! I have never met a child that age who sticks to his word so well, there is no distracting him. What he says goes or it is a mess. He is very well behaved most of the time, typical little boy. LOTS of energy... he likes learning new things. We learned about balloons and static (if you rub a balloon on your hair it sticks....) he enjoyed that. He also had never played with a paper airplane so now every day after school he brings me a sheet of paper and we play airplane for about an hour or so.

My Uncle has another boy staying with him, an older boy by the name of Aot (tho all the names they have are not really their names which I found out today), he is about 19 or 20, very nice. He is helping me learn Lao which I am sure is amusing for him, just imagine me with my silly redneck accent trying to speak an asian language. HA! The idea!
Anyway we are working on one word per day and he is doing SO much better than I am, ha ha. He is a good student tho which is good.

I have been playing the piano alot and trying to write as much as I can. So far I have done well to keep a journal (tho I did forget last night).

Anyway I better sign off here, I have some stuff I need to do. (actual work HA)

I'm Heeerrrreeee!!

So I made it safely to Vientiane Laos which is where my home will be for the next year or so.
I've been here about 5 days now and its been interesting so far lol.

I've eaten quite a bit of food. I had French spaghetti, Scandinavian coffee and sandwiches and Lao food for dinner every night.
The oddest things I have eaten so far have been squid (about 2 nights ago), they had two options on that not spicy and VERY spicy... (I am thinking that is common because my uncle isnt a big fan of spicy food... or so it seems) the tentacles were a bit chewy but closer to the head was about like tender chicken, really not so bad. And today for lunch I had noodles with pig blood. HA its true! I didnt know what it was so I asked (mistake maybe??) the texture was almost like soft cheese... velveeta maybe?? It wasnt bad, had an interesting flavor, left my mouth a bit dry tho.

For the most part the last few days we (me and my Grandpa) have spent trying to get in the swing of things... the time difference is drastic! 13 hours! Tho I have always said I should have been born in Asia because I LOVE the night in the US, not that I dont like the day I just couldnt sleep at night so now I am sleeping at night! So it works out ha ha.

Today was the first day we went sightseeing, I know I will be here for a long time but I was really excited to finally get to see the city I live in.
We went to what they call a Stupah, we also went to this garden of Buddha which had ALL kinds of statues and things, it was amazing! Someone must have spent forever on it!! Seriously!
We went to this other place too I dont know what it was called but France built it for Laos, it was great too!

There are so many beautiful sights here I dont think my camera will ever do justice to what my eyes see, I am just thankful I am HERE and can expirence it and carry those memories in my mind and heart forever. I wouldnt trade this time for anything.

The world is so big and life is so short! I want... actually scratch that. I NEED to see things! I need to live my life as much as I can, as well as I can. I need to get out there and do EVERYTHING! People may laugh and think I am kidding, but I'm not. I honestly want to do as much as I can with the time that I have been given. No one is promised tomorrow so I am going to make today AMAZING!

The last couple days I have struggled a little bit with missing someone and my old surroundings, but I have to tell myself that this is what life is about. It may hurt, but maybe the pain will make things sweeter in the end (at least that is kinda what I hope). So... I close my eyes and picture myself there with that someone for 5 minutes, hope they are thinking of me too and then I keep moving.